Tribulations

So it’s been another long stretch (what, two weeks?). I’ve had reason to write, but I’m on another long, 12-day work stretch. I work from early afternoon and I don’t get home usually until around 10 p.m. Usually, when it’s this late, I only have the drive to make my supper and check my e-mail, etc., and watch TV. In the mornings, I try to do something productive, like work out, but it all depends upon the circumstances.

But I am trying to stay active. I have already signed up to run the Army 10-miler in DC in October. I am also going to ride my bicycle in a century ride (100-mile) in August. I couldn’t do either of these things right now, but I have been going to the gym and I am running and riding.

I am truly looking forward to my vacation in June. This week, there have been many challenges. I received a ticket for running a red light (my fault, but the light changed so fast and I hit my brakes, but I had already entered the intersection). So I accept that one. Then I received a ticket for expired tags. The problem here is that they are usually sent to me in the mail, but this year I hadn’t received them, and with all that’s been going on (separation, new apartment, etc.), I just didn’t notice my tags had expired just 10 days before I received the ticket. Eh… how about a little grace period or something? Then, I received a notice to pay $75 worth of parking tickets that I hadn’t received. Turns out my son never paid his tickets from 2003, and they’re coming after me for the money. I finally just had to laugh about it all. I spent way too much money on clothes, etc., this month, so this serves me right.

I’ve also had several other unexpected bills, and I’ve suddenly lightened my bank account by some $1500 this month (beyond the rent and food). And my van needs servicing and possibly repairs. Small things that can add up.

Life has been somewhat curious of late, as I find myself alone more often. I think God has a lesson here for me, but I haven’t quite put it together yet. Perhaps it’s just that I should get out more if I truly love people, but with my schedule, there really isn’t a good time to get out unless I have a day off, and this month I’ve only really had one so far. Perhaps I need to spend more time understanding the meaning of selfless detachment. Or maybe I just need to think about getting over myself.

I am almost done with the book by Robert Thurman (I know, I’m a slow reader). He listed some tenets, and the last one made me smile. If nothing else, he said (and I’m paraphrasing), just be happy. I smiled, and then felt instantly better. I was walking to work today and noticing how few people were smiling, and hoping they would feel better. I like to sort of size people up now and think about how I would feel giving each of them a hug. If there would just be a little more happiness and more hugging in the world, I think we could solve a lot more of humanities problems.

It’s late, and I don’t even know if I’m making sense anymore. But if anyone actually reads this note, I would like you to just try it sometime: Walk down the street and imagine embracing the people you come across. Honestly, I have to confess that I often size people up and think about how I would handle a fight with some of them, perhaps it’s something about my upbringing and training, but I feel much better about myself and everyone else when I imagine the embrace. And then the little problems don’t seem quite so big.